We were driven as far as the 4×4 could go and dropped at the base of a few mountains with only some vague directions to guide us.
‘Stay to the right of the river,’ was what one of us heard.
‘Climb to the top of the left ridge and you will see it,’ was what another understood.
Granted there were some language barriers, but those are vastly different routes to discover something we didn’t even know exists.
We each began climbing our separate paths, sometimes assisting each other along the way, but eventually splitting off…
…meeting up again at the top.
What we thought was it, seemed unreasonable for the journey. Acceptance was beginning to set in as we wandered around, quickly scoping out the area, not wanting to believe that after all of that, this was it.
But soon we discovered our actual destination was just a bit further.
Looking over the not-so-aptly-named pond, the beauty was something. But was it really the something we thought it would be?
Then the rain came.
A colleague unraveled a poncho and we continued pondering this something/nothing.
It is clear that it was something. But was it a something something or a nothing something?
It’s been a few days since this journey, but I keep returning to it my head. Not because it was a particularly great hike to a particularly great place. But because this hike seems to be a symbol of my time.
Is this place something? Am I being successful in something? Is my art really a something to others as it is to me, or is it just a nothing?
Such a struggle to gain ground and reach what seems like the destination, only to feel just disappointment or to discover it is ‘raining.’ I don’t mean to imply that I am disappointed in this time. But the uncertainty that is seeming to accompany me throughout this effort to create new work is starting to become daunting.
I agree, it is too soon to label this adventure as a nothing.
And it is too soon to label it as a something.